How ae you doing recently?

I received a spam the other day ; not the canned-meat variety I'm afraid but but the useless type of spam known as spam e-mail, and the spam-email started with the introduction, " How are you doing recently? " And then it went on to pronounce the quality of some new drug or other or a cure for baldness or erection dysfunction, or worse , malfunction. I was tempted to delete it right away but before I did I wondered where the e-mail from? I was thinking a former Soviet republic or maybe Asia or maybe the continent of Africa. It doesn't matter. I did hit delete but it never totally went away. Every time I send an e-mail on my Hotmail account, that same spam comes up and I have to delete every single time. It used to annoy me but it is now part of the furniture; it is a fixed and permanent thing. And like my friend Kevin Shute used to say, A person can get used to anything!

That phrase is so ingrained in my brain that every time I use that e-mail and the phrase comes up, I think it would make a great pick-up line. And I mouth those memorable words, "Hey how are you doing recently?" "No, How are yooooohhhhh doing recently?" " "HOW ARE YOU DOING RECENTLY!!!!!!!!!! "how are you doing recently?" " How are you doing recently?"

I got tired of saying it to myself so I took myself and my pick- up line to my local coffee- shop. It had to be a coffee- shop because it is quite clear I have no spare brain-cells to spare going to a local bar! I went inside, it was a common coffee- shop, lets call it Bim Borton and their motto is, Our Coffee is better than Crack! I went inside. There was quite a long line-up, because their Coffee is better than Crack, and I noticed a young lady taking cash and an older woman beside her pouring coffee and putting cream and sugar as was requested by the person being served. I kept getting more nervous the closer I got to the front of the line-up. Finally my turn came and the woman pouring asked me what I wanted in my coffee, I told her what I wanted . Would I chicken out or would my courage rise to the surface.

" One dollar fifty , " said the girl.
" How are you doing recently?" I said.
" Oh " she said, in a slight accent that was barely noticeable. " How are you doing recently?"
" No, " I stammered nervously . "How are you doing recently? "
She passed the coffee the cup to me and gently brushed the back of my hand and said in a loving tone, " How are you doing recently. "
" I am well !" I said.
"Hurry up, will you!!! " came an angry cry from behind me.
" I need someone to help me with my Enleesh," she asked with an urgent, needy tone to her voice.
" I don't speak English . I cannot teach you!"
" This is not a pick-up bar, fellah! " came the same angry cry from behind me!! I turned to leave.
" PLEASE HELP ME OUT WITH MY ENLEEESH! " came the haunting cry from the lady as I walked out of the shop. " HOW ARE YOU DOING RECENTLY!!! "

But it was too late for 'us'. I was now out of the shop and headed home. I should leave my apartment more often I told myself. I might have a chance at the life of a Lady Man , but as my friend Kevin Shute used to say, " Nah!!"