waspy tendencies

I used to carry a fear of latent Waspish tendencies creeping up on me in my advancing years, but someone pointed out to me recently that I luckily have nothing to fear. I have no remaining vestiges of Waspishness. I am squeaky clean.

It was not easy though! I can remember the years of denial. The need to wear a suit- and- tie, even if my job was as a Motor Vehicle Mechanic. I've been casually dressed for several years now but it was a long road to recovery.

When I was born in England, my country had already given up on any ambitions of keeping their
Empire but , in many ways, I was trained and brought up to believe we Brits were rulers of the known universe! As if we were smarter somehow than the poor little devils who were born as citizens of the British Commonwealth countries .You can imagine how being brought up in such an environment could have the result of one turning into a very stuffed- shirt...

Imagine ,the agony of being born into the very epicentre of Waspdom. Being at school and learning completely useless things such as how many pounds in a stone , referring to weights and measures for those who don't know what the heck I am talking about; not pounds sterling. And, speaking of the dreaded pound sterling imagine getting a question like this on a math test:

A shopper goes into a grocery store and buys a goose. He pays 1 pound , six shillings and tuppens hal'penny. When he gets home he worries whether he should have bought the 2 smaller ducks , total wt 3 lbs - 14 ozs . If he went back to the store to return the ducks in his car going at 40 miles per hour , the cost of petrol being 12 pounds sterling per imperial gallon, which purchase cost him the most?

If you are still going through your Wasp stage of evolution I have a deep sense of empathy for you. It's a long road. I do not plan on back-tracking, but if I suddenly have an urge to put on a tie, or god help me, put on a suit . I keep a phone number in my wallet of a special friend who has the same addictive waspy traits as me. And he will understand and be of comfort to me. I'm a phone a friend away from being just like any old wasp. Thank you, Prince Charles!!! He's saved my ass on many occasions.