There was an interesting headline in my home-town newspaper recently that grabbed my attention. " Trapped penis cut free by grinder," Daily Echo,Thursday, January 10th ,2010, Southampton , England. Story by Matt Smith. I must not be the only one who never grew up as it was the most popular story of the day (on website the next day I see it's still the #1 story). I'm going to quote directly from the Daily Echo here:
A MAN who got his genitalia stuck in a steel pipe had to be cut free by eight firefighters using an industrial grinder.
The heavy duty cutting gear had to be used to remove the three-inch long hollow pipe after medics were unable to release it.
The painstaking operation, which involved eight firefighters, took around an hour.
The drama began after the man took himself to the accident and emergency department of Southampton General Hospital.
I can only imagine what an interesting drive to the hospital that must have been for the poor soul. Also hope he has a car and didn't have to walk or get the bus to the hospital.
The story continues: ( I'd normally paraphrase here the rest of the story, but the story is funny with no need of help from me).
Restricted blood flow had left the man in a state of arousal, and unable to remove the pipe.Staff there were so concerned that they phoned the emergency services and a crew from Redbridge Fire Station were initially dispatched.
But they had to bring in backup from St Mary’s station which has a fire truck equipped with specialist cutting gear.
A disc gutter cutter, with a four-and-a-half-inch blade, was used to slice open the stainless steel pipe.
I must say, the real hero in this story is the man who bravely wielded the cutter so close to his patients pride and joy. He did the task assigned with skill and aplomb , with-out refusing through fear of a law-suit if he bungled and carved the turkey a little closer to the bone than he'd intended... "Oops, sorry Sir. If I hadn't been laughing so much you'd still have your man- hood intact!!! "
The story concludes happily you'll be pleased to learn:
The man, in his 30s, offered no explanation for his predicament but was said to be “quite concerned and anxious”. He had been given an anaesthetic to prepare for the procedure.
St Mary’s crew manager Adrian Johnson said: “It was a very delicate operation. We did not want anything heating up.
The person who did it deserves a commendation for his nerve and steady hand.”
Meanwhile, watch manager Greg Garrett from Redbridge station added: “I’ve only come across this type of thing three or four times in my 17 years as a firefighter. It’s not a daily occurrence.”
The man’s private parts were left bruised and swollen.
So, the man walked away with his pride hurt but , as my friend Kevin Shute at work said, "At least he didn't go home with his testicles and penis in a paper bag! "
So, children, today's question is for my male readers, " Have you ever slung your hook in an embarrassing (or painful) place.? " Most men are private about these things ( and rightly so) . I personally have had no more than a dozen such occurrences in my life-time. Hmm, there was the time I schlepped it into a garburator instead of the sink hole.. Um, hmm, let me think. Oh yes, there was the time I schlepped it into my restored 1963 Chevy Corvair exhaust pipe.. Oh God how I loved that car!
hmm let me see. This will be the last one because I don't want to be wrongly accused of being desperate and can't find a girl-friend. Oh yes, there was the 'incident' where I met a transvestite in a bar and I was too drunk to notice that he/she had an Adam's apple.
Here's some wisdom I can share with you. This would be more valuable Here's some words of advice my poor dear departed father passed down to me.
Be wary of where you sling your hook dear son. And also , be especially wary of women with Adam's apples.
Good advice. I get teary eyed thinking about what sage advice he gave me. And now I can pass that advice to men everywhere.
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