Turn-offs - rude people.

I started this posting as a story on passports but I seem to be coming across so many rude people of late that I decided to do a posting about: Rude people: Where do they get off!! But, when I recently applied for a passport I did not come across any rude people so I cannot incorporate that into my story. Thanks for nothing Passport Canada!!!

Turn-offs... Rude people. I often wonder why people think they have a right to be rude. I had a lady today ask me a very simple question. It was very basic like where is the office and the cost of something. It started out bad, she criticised me for not using complete sentences. I don't think we'd even got as far as where you'd normally start a conversation as the only word I'd used was the word Hello. I wanted to say, "Hmm Generally speaking Ma'am ( I use that term loosely), before we start into full sentences I would start off with something by way of an introduction. In this case I say hello, you say something like hello back to me . Then we're into a full conversation and maybe if we feel up to the challenge, then we can start tossing around complete sentences.

Sometimes people like to be babied and I'm now used to the recent phenomenon of people asking for the postal code so they can set their GPS system in their car so they can be guided to our address. But our conversation turned really silly. It went something like, " How do I find the office once I am inside the mall. By the Bay. There are several entrances which one is it? The front one. Which one is the front one? This last one did raise my hackles , as they say, but I tried to smooth them down. I believe there is a drug store near the front entrance of the building. Also, you cannot walk into the mall without seeing the office.

This lady personifies why I'm taking early retirement in July, 2010 .

more swiftly than asparagus is cooked

How young is too young to baby-sit the father? This of course is one of the burning issues of our times.

On 1 side of the issue are those who believe 11 is the magic number. Then some say, 12 is better. Then there are those who say it depends on how responsible that young person is and that age is not the issue at all. I've had personal experience with this issue. My eldest daughter is now 11 years old. She is very responsible and very capable of looking after her younger sisters, one of whom is aged 9 and the other is soon to be turning 7. They sometimes like to to do kind deeds for me. One day about 3 or 4 months ago they were visiting me ( I am now seperated from my wife ) and decided to make me a pot of tea. So, I showed Julia, my eldest , how to make tea. I said, you fill the kettle with water. Boil the water and then fill the teapot with hot water. Put 2 teabags in the teapot. Stir and allow to brew for 3 or 4 minutes and then it is ready to be poured into the mug. Add 2 sugars and some milk. Stir and serve to your grateful father. I left Julia in charge and I went into my bedroom for a read of my book.

I forgot to mention, I have an electric kettle. Postera crescam laude , we grow in the esteem of future generations. So for those parent's in generations to come, I am relaying this story, bonum commune communitatis.

Luckily, I needed to use the bathroom and when I left my room I could see the stove in the kitchen, with a plastic, electric-kettle on the stove. "Ab irato ," I shouted. I was indeed a trifle irritated by this development. Sure enough; celerius quam asparagi cocuntur, more swiftly than asparagus is cooked, I had a liitle bit of a crisis on my hands.

I ran into the kitchen and saw the plastic kettle sitting on top of the burner and I could see the burner under the kettle burning brightly. Luckily, damnum absque injuria, there was damage but no one was hurt. My kettle melted but it did not catch fire. There was a lot of smoke and I had to open the windows and take them for a walk. It was a long time before that smell was completely vanquished.

I believed at that time it was a matter of, accidents do happen. Errare humanum est, or to err is human but I now think that, on reflection I will let Julia grow up a little. After all: experientia docet, experience teaches. And for those who are not swayed by this story. Ipso Facto, ignorantia juris non excusat, or if you'd prefer the more common phrase: ignorance of the law is no excuse.

waspy tendencies

I used to carry a fear of latent Waspish tendencies creeping up on me in my advancing years, but someone pointed out to me recently that I luckily have nothing to fear. I have no remaining vestiges of Waspishness. I am squeaky clean.

It was not easy though! I can remember the years of denial. The need to wear a suit- and- tie, even if my job was as a Motor Vehicle Mechanic. I've been casually dressed for several years now but it was a long road to recovery.

When I was born in England, my country had already given up on any ambitions of keeping their
Empire but , in many ways, I was trained and brought up to believe we Brits were rulers of the known universe! As if we were smarter somehow than the poor little devils who were born as citizens of the British Commonwealth countries .You can imagine how being brought up in such an environment could have the result of one turning into a very stuffed- shirt...

Imagine ,the agony of being born into the very epicentre of Waspdom. Being at school and learning completely useless things such as how many pounds in a stone , referring to weights and measures for those who don't know what the heck I am talking about; not pounds sterling. And, speaking of the dreaded pound sterling imagine getting a question like this on a math test:

A shopper goes into a grocery store and buys a goose. He pays 1 pound , six shillings and tuppens hal'penny. When he gets home he worries whether he should have bought the 2 smaller ducks , total wt 3 lbs - 14 ozs . If he went back to the store to return the ducks in his car going at 40 miles per hour , the cost of petrol being 12 pounds sterling per imperial gallon, which purchase cost him the most?

If you are still going through your Wasp stage of evolution I have a deep sense of empathy for you. It's a long road. I do not plan on back-tracking, but if I suddenly have an urge to put on a tie, or god help me, put on a suit . I keep a phone number in my wallet of a special friend who has the same addictive waspy traits as me. And he will understand and be of comfort to me. I'm a phone a friend away from being just like any old wasp. Thank you, Prince Charles!!! He's saved my ass on many occasions.