Well, it is true . I am looking for a Windmill property to live in; meaning I am not looking for a windmill to power my home, I am looking for a home. Also, I don't want a windmill ornament
to decorate my Christmas tree or a souvenir windmill from Holland . I am looking for the real thing. Please readers help me in my quest if you can!
And why the sudden interest in quirky homes you ask? Well for one thing , I have always had an interest in extreme abode dwelling(s) and I have seen people on TV living in strange places , one I remember being a Windmill. But in truth my prime motivation is Jealousy, pure and simple. I remember hearing about a Brit Com writer happily living in a windmill. I looked at my humble abode and, no doubt about it ; not living in a windmill ! So jealousy is my prime motivator!
I looked up windmills here in Canada and there were lots to choose from. Most were in Quebec. Yep, I would even go back to Quebec ( yes, go back meaning I did live in Quebec but for a very short time) but unfortunately nothing was for sale. They were mostly museums now. I've worked for the museum before but don't want to live in one. So, my search has been expanded
abroad. I can't look in the US as I don't think they'd let me stay there, so I will have to search in Europe. In the UK ( I am a Brit by birth but in this usage of someone from that enchanted Isle I used to call home I should use the term UKie but that just seems silly) I did find one for sale.
It's going for around 150 thousand quid..(300 gazillion CDN $'s). So maybe I should put in a bid. Nah, that would take courage. And as I have never bought a house before even at times when I could have afforded one I think me actually buying a windmill very unlikely. But I also think it is about time, high time, tea-time, quality time and high 5 time that I put fear of real estate to the sword and man up and buy a place to live. Whether it is a normal 3 bedroom house or 2 bedroom condo, or a bleeding windmill house doesn't matter. My real enemy is fear! Wish me well in my search of becoming a man and my search for a windmill house abode! Blades included!!!!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
the new Charlie
This post does not even need any description. Everyone knows what I'm talking about.
I thought the replacement Charlie was very good. I was still thinking about favourite
scenes the next day. I did think the show would continue to be a hit #1 comedy on TV
and now I am convinced. By the way I did like the way poor Charlie ended up in a dust-buster.
Although I think that's been done before; just an aside but I wrote a very similar sketch which I
sent to a few shows but no interest and that was about 30 years ago. But I'm not complaining .
It was gratifying to see a similar idea wind up on a very big show. I'll just tell myself I was ahead
of my time.. ha ha.
I also thought the way Charlies character was bumped off by Rose ( pushed into the path of an on-coming train no less because of one of Charlie's 'indescretions'...) Perfect. And I liked the way
Ashley's character was introduce by the fore-mentioned making Alan jump and spill the ashes...
My favourite line had to do with Rose's character. Don't mess with a crazy bitch!! Indeed, and as my friend Kevin would say, words to live by.
I thought the replacement Charlie was very good. I was still thinking about favourite
scenes the next day. I did think the show would continue to be a hit #1 comedy on TV
and now I am convinced. By the way I did like the way poor Charlie ended up in a dust-buster.
Although I think that's been done before; just an aside but I wrote a very similar sketch which I
sent to a few shows but no interest and that was about 30 years ago. But I'm not complaining .
It was gratifying to see a similar idea wind up on a very big show. I'll just tell myself I was ahead
of my time.. ha ha.
I also thought the way Charlies character was bumped off by Rose ( pushed into the path of an on-coming train no less because of one of Charlie's 'indescretions'...) Perfect. And I liked the way
Ashley's character was introduce by the fore-mentioned making Alan jump and spill the ashes...
My favourite line had to do with Rose's character. Don't mess with a crazy bitch!! Indeed, and as my friend Kevin would say, words to live by.
Young people of today and have we screwed them!
Probably. Yes. No doubt. I can relate to young people because I never grew up! Ask my kids if you like. I was just in time for being computer literate, although I struggle with my vocabulary ( which I just misspelled) ( And I just misspelled , misspelled). By that I mean the vocabulary of that Faceache stuff which friends my age refer to so disparagingly.... I'm 3 for 3 this morning . I just misspelled disparagingly. It's no wonder my kids are so screwed up. In truth my kids have turned out very well! In spite of me or because of me, you'll have to ask them. That's what my friend Kevin says about Cuba. " Is Cuba so great because of the revolution or in spite of it. " I digress!
My kids always look at me with puzzled amusement at my lack of computer savvy as well as gadget savvy , printer savvy, hardware or add a gizmo to my computer savvy. I still don't have a ( digital) camera ... In fact I have to pause and try to remember what the term for camera is these days. We, and I mean the Royal we here, call a camera a camera. Instead of what is known as ....... second coffee kicking in......... just called my mother and she doesn't know..... mother called me back after looking at the back of their , digital camera...... Success at last! And nope, my mother is not more digitally aware than me; just the opposite. She doesn't even have a debit card, and she has to go to the drug store with her digital camera to have the pictures developed... When of course she isn't using her 35 mm camera with something known as film!!!
I, on the other hand and by I , I mean the Royal I of course, have this blog for one thing. I just have to remember I have a blog, Note to self blog today, don't wait 2 years ... I also have a digital camera , someone gave me one as a gift. I lost the instructions and interest and the camera has now become a very nice paper-weight. I do internet banking and if I don't have access to the internet I get a panicky sense of , I have no idea of how much money is in my account. And I mean it could be minus $25 to a gazzillion dollars. hmmm Can I buy food today or can I afford a yacht!!! And I wouldn't like to go back to the days of calling someone to have a form sent out instead of simply printing one from the internet. Assuming of course I can figure out how to get my printer working.
So, are kids screwed? Some maybe. But I think mostly we , and I use the Royal we here of course, are jealous of our kids mastery of the digital universe when most of us grown ups are struggling to figure where the 'on' switch is to Microsoft Explore ..... or why I , and I use the Royal I here of course, can't figure why my printer won't print after 2 years of owning some type of printer or other but not actually being able to 'print'. And on the negative side, those young people invented Faceache! Those Bastards!!!!!!! And I will never forgive them for that.
My kids always look at me with puzzled amusement at my lack of computer savvy as well as gadget savvy , printer savvy, hardware or add a gizmo to my computer savvy. I still don't have a ( digital) camera ... In fact I have to pause and try to remember what the term for camera is these days. We, and I mean the Royal we here, call a camera a camera. Instead of what is known as ....... second coffee kicking in......... just called my mother and she doesn't know..... mother called me back after looking at the back of their , digital camera...... Success at last! And nope, my mother is not more digitally aware than me; just the opposite. She doesn't even have a debit card, and she has to go to the drug store with her digital camera to have the pictures developed... When of course she isn't using her 35 mm camera with something known as film!!!
I, on the other hand and by I , I mean the Royal I of course, have this blog for one thing. I just have to remember I have a blog, Note to self blog today, don't wait 2 years ... I also have a digital camera , someone gave me one as a gift. I lost the instructions and interest and the camera has now become a very nice paper-weight. I do internet banking and if I don't have access to the internet I get a panicky sense of , I have no idea of how much money is in my account. And I mean it could be minus $25 to a gazzillion dollars. hmmm Can I buy food today or can I afford a yacht!!! And I wouldn't like to go back to the days of calling someone to have a form sent out instead of simply printing one from the internet. Assuming of course I can figure out how to get my printer working.
So, are kids screwed? Some maybe. But I think mostly we , and I use the Royal we here of course, are jealous of our kids mastery of the digital universe when most of us grown ups are struggling to figure where the 'on' switch is to Microsoft Explore ..... or why I , and I use the Royal I here of course, can't figure why my printer won't print after 2 years of owning some type of printer or other but not actually being able to 'print'. And on the negative side, those young people invented Faceache! Those Bastards!!!!!!! And I will never forgive them for that.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
quaker invents tongue piercing
In December 1656, Quaker James Naylor, grew tired of his drab puritan life-style and decided to, as James himself said, " Jazz things up a bit.."
Maybe it had something to do with the appraching festive season and as a Puritan feeling excluded from the fun or maybe he was tired of being mocked for wearing a puritan uniform You know the uniform of which I speak, the plain black pants, tucked into white leggings, black shoes with buckles , a black linen coat , topped- off by an austere , plain black hat, similar to a cowboy hat except it looked sillier.
Oliver Cromwell , Lord Protector ( meaning Lord protect us from Oliver Cromwell) was the leader for this time period and Oliver , for the sake of the nation had to deport the Puritans because no one could get any work done because people were laughing so hard at them. Mind you , the rest of the country who weren't Puritans took the sting out of their daily grind by dressing to the other extreme meaning they were a bunch of fancy pants. This of course led to many wars; the 1st English Civil War, the 2nd English Civil War & the 3rd English Civil War.
It was in this time period of history that brave James Naylor decided to accessorize his tongue. It was a brilliant idea of course because the puncture would be hidden in his mouth and although he was by trade a preacher , he figured that English people mumble any way so career- wise it was no great loss. Conveniently, the red hot iron poker had been specially modified for the sole -purpose of creating the hole- in- tongue by the good folks over in the Tower of London which was a stones throw away from where James lived anyway.
James was taking a huge risk because the reason he wanted a hole in his mouth was so he could put in a tongue ring. Wearing a ring anywhere on his body was frowned upon by fellow Puritans so he took the risk of being shunned by his fellow travellers. Again , really, thought James, " no great loss. "
Like my friend Kevin Shute said, " I bet that hurt like hell!!!"
I bet it did too, but again if you're the Geek of the Renaissance your used to great pain anyway. just getting up every day and putting on that stupid outfit day would be torture enough for most people; not to mention being mocked, and crowds trying to stone you to death at every turn! Again, no great loss...
Maybe it had something to do with the appraching festive season and as a Puritan feeling excluded from the fun or maybe he was tired of being mocked for wearing a puritan uniform You know the uniform of which I speak, the plain black pants, tucked into white leggings, black shoes with buckles , a black linen coat , topped- off by an austere , plain black hat, similar to a cowboy hat except it looked sillier.
Oliver Cromwell , Lord Protector ( meaning Lord protect us from Oliver Cromwell) was the leader for this time period and Oliver , for the sake of the nation had to deport the Puritans because no one could get any work done because people were laughing so hard at them. Mind you , the rest of the country who weren't Puritans took the sting out of their daily grind by dressing to the other extreme meaning they were a bunch of fancy pants. This of course led to many wars; the 1st English Civil War, the 2nd English Civil War & the 3rd English Civil War.
It was in this time period of history that brave James Naylor decided to accessorize his tongue. It was a brilliant idea of course because the puncture would be hidden in his mouth and although he was by trade a preacher , he figured that English people mumble any way so career- wise it was no great loss. Conveniently, the red hot iron poker had been specially modified for the sole -purpose of creating the hole- in- tongue by the good folks over in the Tower of London which was a stones throw away from where James lived anyway.
James was taking a huge risk because the reason he wanted a hole in his mouth was so he could put in a tongue ring. Wearing a ring anywhere on his body was frowned upon by fellow Puritans so he took the risk of being shunned by his fellow travellers. Again , really, thought James, " no great loss. "
Like my friend Kevin Shute said, " I bet that hurt like hell!!!"
I bet it did too, but again if you're the Geek of the Renaissance your used to great pain anyway. just getting up every day and putting on that stupid outfit day would be torture enough for most people; not to mention being mocked, and crowds trying to stone you to death at every turn! Again, no great loss...
Friday, February 19, 2010
murphy's law day
I often wonder to myself How did our March 13th public Holiday in Hatrack originate? Was it just an excuse to give winter weary Hatracks a day off winter commuting? Or was it to to commemorate the birth of Neil Sedaka, American singer and songwriter, who was born on March 13, 1939. And also, why was it called Murphy's Law Day?
It is not a well-known fact but it was actually invented to commemorate The birth of Russell Beakhouse, who as well as being well respected as a husband , father and landscaper to the Queen he also had the misfortune and bad luck to utter the words, That's Murphy's Law more times than any body else in the entire history of Hatrack.
The reason he held the record for utterances of that phrase were due in part because he had no clue how to use the phrase in its correct form. An example of that error was in the year 1962
when as a 2 year old he was playing with a pair of scissors and did himself an injury to his foreskin and subsequently became the first person in the Beakhouse family ever to be circumcised, uttering those famous words, " That's Murphy's Law Mummy!" Auuughhhh!!!!!
Then there was the time as a young boy in school Russ was asked by the kinder- garden teacher why he was putting a little girl's head in the toilet bowl of the boys bathroom, he replied ,
"That's Murphy's Law Miss Henderson!!!!"
Then a few years later as an adolescent trying to smuggle liquor into the school dance that had an off -duty police-officer checking bags for booze, pot and narcotics. Then just as his head was being forced to the gym floor Russ was heard to comment from beneath a heavy boot , " How did that get there officer? Why, Murphy's Law of course!!"
Another famous incident was when Russ was asked by the Minister during his wedding ceremony with Mindy the age old question , " Why do you have your pants on back - to - front? Russell?" " Murphy's Law Minister ? " replied Russell , sheepishly.
Scroll forward a few years to June 2nd , 1998 , his poor wife Mindy having endured 27 hours of excruciating labour pains , all by herself and then just as their daughter comes down the chute Russ arrives just in time to witness the birth of their daughter, Sarah. Mindy screams at him with all the strength she has left. the question, "Where were you Russell?" and Russ replies with a big stupid grin on his face , " Murphy's Law, Mindy!"
Then, finally, the Nova Scotia Legislature is trying to come up with an idea for a public holiday in winter, apart from Christmas or New Years to bring us up to par with the rest of the country. Russ happens to be doing the Premier's Lawn . Premier Darrell asks Russ why he hadn't put the rose -bush where it was supposed to have gone and Russ replies, " Murphy's Law Mr Premier!"
"That's it Russ !" said the Premier "That was pure genius ! We'll have a holiday called Murphy's Law Day. Hmm, when's your birthday Russ?" "March 13th, Premier Darrell", said Russ proudly ...
And that is how the public holiday known as Murphy's Law Day was invented and we have Russell to thank for it. And all Hatracks should be grateful to Russ for a public holiday falling on March 13th for all eternity.
It is not a well-known fact but it was actually invented to commemorate The birth of Russell Beakhouse, who as well as being well respected as a husband , father and landscaper to the Queen he also had the misfortune and bad luck to utter the words, That's Murphy's Law more times than any body else in the entire history of Hatrack.
The reason he held the record for utterances of that phrase were due in part because he had no clue how to use the phrase in its correct form. An example of that error was in the year 1962
when as a 2 year old he was playing with a pair of scissors and did himself an injury to his foreskin and subsequently became the first person in the Beakhouse family ever to be circumcised, uttering those famous words, " That's Murphy's Law Mummy!" Auuughhhh!!!!!
Then there was the time as a young boy in school Russ was asked by the kinder- garden teacher why he was putting a little girl's head in the toilet bowl of the boys bathroom, he replied ,
"That's Murphy's Law Miss Henderson!!!!"
Then a few years later as an adolescent trying to smuggle liquor into the school dance that had an off -duty police-officer checking bags for booze, pot and narcotics. Then just as his head was being forced to the gym floor Russ was heard to comment from beneath a heavy boot , " How did that get there officer? Why, Murphy's Law of course!!"
Another famous incident was when Russ was asked by the Minister during his wedding ceremony with Mindy the age old question , " Why do you have your pants on back - to - front? Russell?" " Murphy's Law Minister ? " replied Russell , sheepishly.
Scroll forward a few years to June 2nd , 1998 , his poor wife Mindy having endured 27 hours of excruciating labour pains , all by herself and then just as their daughter comes down the chute Russ arrives just in time to witness the birth of their daughter, Sarah. Mindy screams at him with all the strength she has left. the question, "Where were you Russell?" and Russ replies with a big stupid grin on his face , " Murphy's Law, Mindy!"
Then, finally, the Nova Scotia Legislature is trying to come up with an idea for a public holiday in winter, apart from Christmas or New Years to bring us up to par with the rest of the country. Russ happens to be doing the Premier's Lawn . Premier Darrell asks Russ why he hadn't put the rose -bush where it was supposed to have gone and Russ replies, " Murphy's Law Mr Premier!"
"That's it Russ !" said the Premier "That was pure genius ! We'll have a holiday called Murphy's Law Day. Hmm, when's your birthday Russ?" "March 13th, Premier Darrell", said Russ proudly ...
And that is how the public holiday known as Murphy's Law Day was invented and we have Russell to thank for it. And all Hatracks should be grateful to Russ for a public holiday falling on March 13th for all eternity.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
bleeding hell
I always thought that the word bleeding is a mild swear-word in the UK but just a word meaning " to bleed, " pretty much every where else...
So, I thought it would be fun to use the word a lot in my book, maybe just to pepper up the language but also just for the fun , an
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